We make decisions each and every single day of our lives. And we pave a new path with each decision. And with each path that you create and embark on, just as you get comfortable, there comes a new decision for you to make that brings you to a new journey.
I recently got engaged. For the first time in my life, with every fiber of my body, I know that the man who humbly asked for my hand in marriage is the one. I find so much joy in my heart with the very thought of marrying him. I know, for once, I got it right. I could sit here and write that I have always felt I deserved this level of happiness. Hell, I am a 36-year-old woman that has a lot going for herself. Why shouldn’t I feel this way? But funny enough, it’s the complete opposite. And while I reflect on how I got here, I would be remised if I did not reflect on all of my life’s experiences, from rearing to maturity.
When I look back at my life experiences I endured as a child transitioning into adulthood, I saw a lot of toxic behavior within my household. It was the norm. I can honestly admit that my family unit rarely offered me an example of healthy relationships. It wasn’t until I established deep-rooted friendships that I was able to peek into different family norms. I got to see the beauty of relationships. Deep down inside I knew that those were the true norms, the type of relationships I have yearned for since my teenage years. These felt true to my nature.
However, it wasn’t that simple. For starters, our family units’ behavior is deeply embedded into the fibers of our DNA. In the Christian doctrine they say that the sins of the parents fall upon the children, and oh boy can I attest to that. After several failed relationships including one almost proposal, one actual proposal, and one four-year engagement, I realized I needed to do some work. But where should I start? This was a major question I had to answer. After a good deal of thought and consideration, I had my answer—THERAPY!
So, I began the journey to become my best self. To reach my highest potential for what this earthly experience has for me. It was in this state of awakening that I started see a therapist to deal with repressed memories and unpack all of the bullshit that I had inherited from my lineage. I then began to work on my health by eating better, working out (with the best trainer ever Megan Tischhauser) and making myself my top priority. But, I was still missing something…. connection to my source. That is where my dear friend Brittney Lee helped me with life groups and conversations. Having a good friend is worth its weight in gold. This friendship opened me up to a new level of accountability and helped me gain a better understanding of my life’s purpose.
I write of this say that, as I sit here in this new season, I know that I have done the work to build a purposeful life. It is in purpose that I can let go of all of the toxicity that I have had to bear witness to. On a daily basis, I tell myself I will not perpetuate any of the unhealthy behavior of my past. I will commit to becoming the best version of myself. I will show compassion to those who are not there yet because I have a true understanding of How To Get The Ring.
When you are ready to take the first step, recite the following affirmation on a daily basis:
“I WILL BE BETTER THAN MY PREDECESSORS, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME.”
Do that, and you will find yourself on the path to transitioning to a better and more purposeful life.