Life can be a bitch at times. Just when you think things are stable, you are hit in the face with an uppercut so violent it takes you to your knees and knocks the wind right out of your mouth. And when you thought that things couldn’t get any worse, your alarm goes off and it is time for you to resume your responsibilities.
When we were children, we could take some downtime and our parents would comfort us. But now we are adults, and we have to get up and head to that job that we hate, where the coveted promotion, which a larger salary, may or may not happen. We have to deal with a spouse who appears to not give a shit about our needs. We have to deal with children who require the very essence of our soul and while putting on a brave face for them we watch our dreams, hopes and aspirations fall to the wayside.
We see a lot of people fall victim to these circumstances…you know these types of people, hell you may have been or be one of them. Examples range from the complainer who falls victim to depression or whatever pacifies their wounds. The pessimist who couldn’t possibly see the positive in a rainbow.
But then there are others who are able to take the gut-wrenching pain and turn it into something beautiful. You see, the other side of the coin sees problems as temporary challenges. This type of bounce-back ability is at times astounding and noteworthy. We hear about it from time to time with celebrities like movie and television star Robert Downey Jr. who recovered from terrible addiction, or Cardi B, the stripper turned television reality star turned rapper. They overcame so much to find a remarkable life. How? One word—Resilience.
Resilience is a trending topic of late. As an early Millennial, an eighties baby, of course, we didn’t hear anything about resiliency growing up, yet we have fallen victim to our ignorance of the word. But now, it is as if the term has exploded onto the scene. We hear it everywhere.
As an adult, I would at times find myself depressed when I didn’t get a particular job I knew I was overly qualified for or didn’t find the partner I was desperately searching for. I would sit and drown in the defeat of being in the same position for over ten years and still not know what I wanted out of life. To add insult to injury, I was in a damaging relationship that failed years ago, and I never took ownership for the part I played in it. I would allow these simple re-directions to take the life out of me and ultimately give up. It wasn’t until my mid-thirties that I realized I only have one life to lead and live. I recognized the only person who could get me where I longed to be was ME. I quickly learned that I could either get to living or get to dying. I could either take what life gave me and learn from it and come back greater than ever or fall victim to the waste side. And that is where resilience kicked in.
I chose the latter. I choose to take the good and bad outcomes in spite of serious threats to adapt and develop. I took a chance to choose to recover from the mishaps of life and easily change….and that my friend is the definition of resilience.
Take time to reflect on some minor or major setbacks that you have endured. Then ask yourself, what happened, what was my initial reaction, how did this setback affect me and what did I learn about myself? Lastly, let me know, I am interested!
I truly enjoyed your blog. It spoke to some of the disappointments I’ve experienced with men. Thank you for the blog.